1. ARE MY ACTIONS GUIDED BY LOVE OR FEAR?
Although I pray and pray that I'll be guided by love, I'm absolutely a slave to fear. Most of it stems from my anxiety and my overwhelming fear of failure and disappointing others. I have good days where my actions are guided by love and I'm filled with a peaceful heart over the things I'm pursuing because I'm doing it out of complete love and joy. But there are the other days that seem much more frequent when it feels like I'm mostly doing things just to keep from feeling anxious.
2. WHAT DO I THINK ABOUT WHEN I AM ALONE?
Honestly, so many things. But I'm in this constant mindset of my potential. Of the type of person I feel I am in my soul but I don't always know how to express on the outside. My head is always stuck on the possibilities of things, the infinite directions choices can lead us. I'm also a terrible over thinker, so sometimes things get blown out of proportion. And I'm a huge daydreamer, my imagination is always going.
3. WHAT MOVIE MADE ME CRY THE MOST?
Dude. So. Many. Movies. I am such a cry baby when it comes to movies and books and shows. I get way to invested in fictional stories and characters. My Girl. Me Before You. A Walk to Remember. 10 Things I Hate About You.
4. WHAT ARE THE BEST AND WORST PARTS OF MY PERSONALITY?
The best thing: I always put other people's happiness and peace before me. I'm pretty empathetic about how other's are feeling and their experiences and I can't stand to be in a better state than those around me. I'll do anything to lift others up and make them feel important.
The worst thing: Kind of goes along with the best thing, I'm really not at all a social butterfly and I'm not good at expressing myself. I tend to internalize everything and I'm really not good at conversation either. I can write about things all day long but as soon as I have to speak them my whole brain turns to mush. So as much as I do connect and empathize with others, I can't always express it and it never gets across the right way to the other person.
5. HOW WOULD MY PERFECT PARTNER TREAT ME?
Someone who constantly guide's me towards God's grace as I will him. That's always in my mind been the one ideal I aspire to in my relationships, or rather a necessity to it. Someone who also pushes me to love myself, love others, and to work hard. And ultimately someone who is fiercely loyal and faithful.
6. WHAT TIMES AM I MOST INSPIRED?
I'm always most inspired late, late at night, but even more so in the early morning. Weekend mornings are my absolute favorite because I can wake up with the sun, give time to my morning rituals, and in return I'm always super productive.
7. IF I DIDN'T KNOW HOW OLD I WAS WHAT WOULD I ASSUME?
I've always been such an old soul and I'm such a homebody. So soulfully, probably a lot older. But appearance wise, I really still look like I'm a teenager.
8. WHEN DO I FEEL THE MOST LIKE MYSELF?
Writing. Photography. Art. Traveling. I wrote about it in a lot of detail here, talking about all the things that made me feel most alive.
9. WHAT DOES LOVE FEEL LIKE?
Everything on intensity.
10. WHAT GOOD COMES FROM PAIN?
I look back at the times where I was at my worst and in a lot of pain, and foremost I witness an abundance of growth. You can't grow from being comfortable and it's every bit true that you can't find beauty without knowing the ugly.
11. WHAT IS WORST, FAILING OR NEVER TRYING?
Hands down, never trying is so much worse. There's truly nothing more awful than wondering 'what if.' And ultimately success is impossible without failure. There's a lot of learning and growth through the failure. And that's coming from someone who is terrified of failure.
With love, S.
Questions via here
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