everyday i'm learning more and more the importance in living for myself and seeking the things that bring me joy and peace. i've spent a lot of years anxious over being someone else, but one of the biggest lessons i've learned this year is letting go of that. the main thing i've learned, is that you have to change your mindset. you've got to be forgiving of yourself and you've got to change your actions.

start small. you can't expect yourself change in one day. take whatever you aspire and break in down into small, attainable goals. for example...

- i want to take yoga more seriously...
            do ten minutes of yoga everyday
- i want to eat a plant based diet...
             remove one food group from my diet at a time and don't continue until i've made it a habit
- i want to finish writing my book...
              sit down with my story at least once a day

when you commit to these small actions, you're creating habits. we're habitual creatures by nature, we constantly seek what is familiar and known, which is why you've gotta make the unknown known...

another important thing is to keep yourself motivated, some things that i've found that work well is to...

- always carry a notebook with you
              write everything down - your aspirations, fears, dreams, grocery lists, ...
- surround yourself with visual reminders
              create a mood board or write your goals on a post it note and put it on your mirror
- what you seek is seeking you
              read quotes, listen to podcasts, read books and blog posts, watch vlogs and documentaries
- speak it into existence
              (this was a hard one for me) it's super important to share your story, when you say things 
              out loud and share them with others, it's also a tool for holding yourself accountable
- there's beauty in growth
              there's beauty in your path and it will be crooked and sometimes you may feel like you're 
              walking back in the direction you came from. failure is apart of growth, but so is starting again
- believe in impossibilities
             wake up everyday and believe that you're deserving of your dreams


i have a vision of who i want to be and just the idea of it alone makes me smile uncontrollably. it won't be easy to meet that person, but it's not impossible. all i have to do is adjust my habits and my strengthen my work ethic. everyday i wake up with the simple intention of being a better version of myself than i was the day before.

what are you goals? speak them into existence into the comments below!

       

the last few weeks have had me a little out of touch, nothing feels real. but despite the seriousness of the situation and despite my anxieties over it, i am someone who firmly believes in making the best out of any situation, especially the ones out of our control. and this is definitely something that is entirely out of our control. there's an art form, i think, to living slowly  and if we let go of our fears, i think we can find in this time a purpose. i don't do well with letting big things like this happen without big lessons. i hope during this time i can learn how to live slow and have peace about it and i hope when we get our world back, i won't take it for granted. i hope i'll try new things, go places i've never gone before, hug people... But for now, I hope I'll find beauty in simple things, that i'll reconnect with myself and my home, that i'll cherish what i do have...

putting all anxieties about this pandemic aside, i want to focus on the good today. being in quarantine and practicing social distancing can be isolating and easily detrimental to mental illnesses that many of us go through. it's easy to let your situation control your emotions, but if you open your heart there is also endless opportunities for you to take control simply by changing your mindset and actions.



one | reconnect with yourself
chances are you've let go of yourself lately, you're unfamiliar with your emotions, your dreams, because you've been so focused on the outside world. take this time to reconnect with your heart. don't stay in bed all day, turn on music and dance so you can learn your body again. teach yourself something new to reconnect with your mind again.

two | reconnect with your passions
maybe there's words in your brain you have to get out on paper or maybe it's been a few months or longer since you've picked up your guitar. whatever you're passionate about, you now have time to make that a priority again.

three | cherish your home
you are beyond fortunate enough to live in a home, so take this time to be completely grateful for it. make your home a magical space again. paint a wall, make a new piece of art work, reorganize your pantry, clean your room, declutter your closet.

four | practice gratitude
i think a lot of us are focusing on what we've lost, and letting the anxieties of it's consequences get the best of us, but that's exactly it - these things are out of your control. your mindset, however, is entirely in your control. practice gratitude for your health, for phone calls with your loved ones, for this life. you've never been promised tomorrow, this hasn't changed.

                                          You must be the change you wish to see in the world.
                                                                                            - Gandhi

            Those words have always resinated with me. As if from the first time I read them, something pulled from deep within my soul, outward. That's where my purpose lies, that's who I'm meant to be. Whatever this change is in the world that I seek, whatever desire I have to be positive impact, no matter how small, is found in these words.

            It all rests on my actions. Before anything I'm a truth seeker and probably a bit of an empath, too. These truths don't lie in what can always be seen, but from what can be felt and experienced. Empathy has taught me not only to see things from other perspectives - the joy, pain, and chaos of others no matter how different they are from me - but to also realize the alternate paths. There is a path that I am not on that is necessary. It's easy to live within my comfort zone, to do what I've always done because after all I've survived that way and the world does not seem to be effected negative by it.

            But how can I possibly want better things for myself and for the world, if I'm not willing to change myself? Leo Tolstoy wrote,

                                   Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.

            I've always had a calling towards caring about the earth and it's creatures, I think we all innately do, I think that's very much a part of being human. I've stumbled upon a whole new entire way of living in which by making small decisions every day I can greatly impact the world, all while actively and consciously loving the world and it's creatures as I've always claimed I do. My choices have an effect on the world and hopefully they might inspire others to change, to..

            I'm on a slow, intentional path towards a vegan lifestyle. It isn't my first experience with this way of living. In high school I was a vegetarian for the right reasons but unfortunately I also had a horrible relationship with my body and with food so I went about it entirely wrong. Then about a year ago I decided to go vegan, for the same reasons that I'm on this path now, but I went about it, again, the entirely wrong way. I cut everything out at once and I placed a lot of pressure on myself to be all or nothing. That if I were going to have a vegan diet, I couldn't fail and meanwhile should be taking all other steps towards a vegan and sustainable lifestyle. This is unrealistic and unhealthy, especially in one step. Completely changing your lifestyle, I've learned from both experience and research, is a process. I'm learning to be patient with myself, forgiving, and as a result I'm becoming passionate about this journey.

            This realization came to me about a month ago and not entirely on my own. I watched a lot of vlogs and read a lot of blogs of people's experiences with their transition and with almost all advice I received was to be easy on yourself and to take it slow. I decided to first focus on my eating habits. Before I did anything else, I cut out foods that I knew were effecting my health. Primarily milk and cheese, that I already suspected made me feel sick. As soon as I cut those things out, I felt so much better. Next I cut out red meat and pork and eggs. I almost never ate pork anyways and even though I ate red meat and egg sometimes, that transition has been fairly easy, too. Next I want to slowly remove poultry from my diet as well as cut out unhealthy drinks.

            Following that I will continue to cut food groups out until I'm eating entirely plant based. I'm taking this journey slowly and I'm really learning to listen to my body. That's another thing I've discovered in all my research and listening to  advice about adapting to this lifestyle, not only is it about connecting deeper with the world, it's about connecting deeper with yourself. There's an intuition you build from it that leads you to a better understanding. This decision, I'm learning, is entirely life changing, but mostly in the ways that you don't expect. There's so much to learn by stepping out of your comfort zone and by following your heart. I'm so excited for this journey and to share it with others.

            When I dream, I dream impossible things.

            Sometimes at three a.m. I'm still awake. Wide eyed, thinking. Sometimes it's anxious, overthinking, sometimes it's imagining impossible things like standing in front of a glacier, publishing a book, standing in the Louvre in Paris, starting my own sustainable, vegan business.

             So I dream impossible things, I can't help it. I can't imagine doing just one thing, I want to serve people, I want to make art, I want to travel, I want to try new things, I want to build a business with my best friend, I want to build a darkroom and teach the dying art of film photography to as many people as I can.

             A few months ago I had a string of nights where I couldn't sleep and it got to the point where I couldn't rest until I got everything that was in my head onto paper. I rationalize things better when it's on paper rather than just stuck in my head, and everything I wrote down that night were things I wanted to do...

- adopt a plant based/vegan diet
- take yoga more seriously, become a certified instructor
- own a holistic wellness store with my best friend - also make it sustainable, eco-friendly, vegan
- start shooting in film again, build a dark room, teach others film
- learn spanish
- learn sign language
- travel
- travel
- travel
- see a glacier
- blog more
- make lots of art
- love others
- run a gallery, or sell art, others and my own
- flip a house
- learn to cook and bake
- learn how to use chopsticks, properly
- have a healthy relationship with my body (and my mind)
- save money
- drink water only
- write a book
- publish a book
- go to Alaska
- go to Spain again
- truly, truly love myself and others

            I also have dreams for others, for fortitude, perseverance, love... I have dreams for the world, that we can save it, work against the damage we've created. These things sometimes seem impossible, too, to me, but I'm always going to work for them, even if just to keep the sleepness nights away...

            And to quote Taylor Swift: don't you see starlight? don't you dream impossible things?
                                  So what are some "impossible" dreams of yours?

            This week I did something I haven't done in years. I painted (and actually finished) a painting. And although I'm sure I'll look back and realize how poor of a job I did, today when I look at it I'm actually really, really proud of it.

            And beyond that, I simply loved how it felt to paint again.


            I've always felt a deep connection with art. I come from a family full of drawers, painters, potters, carvers, writers, musicians... Think of something creative, and there's someone in my family that's likely mastered it. But I've always held myself back. I mean, I was creative at every opportunity, but I never believed in myself. I've always seen so much more talent in my family than in me...and to this day I'm still so intimated by their talent.

            But I got to thinking... Most of them have been doing art their whole lives, they didn't make a business of it or even become successful at it over night. They applied themselves, spending hours a day dedicating their time to their craft.

            I had a strong urge to watercolor. I honestly had no idea what I was doing. When I was younger my aunt taught me some about it, and I'm sure I learned more about it in the dozen of art courses I took though out my schooling, but sitting their with a blank paper, a coffee mug filled with water, and my new paints, I felt clueless. But I absolutely loved it once the brush hit the paper, I loved the freedom of it. I loved how you could manipulate every curve and edge of paint even after it had dried. I just kept adding color and water until it became something I was happy with...


            I decided then that art was something I wanted to again make a priority. And I have been, I've been crafting more, drawing more, painting...and I've honestly felt more like myself than I have in a long time...

Forgiving Myself

Two little words hit me this week.

Forgive yourself.

            And I realized quickly just how much I actually hold over my head. I always assume that when things don't go right, it entirely has something to do with my actions. I caused it, it's my fault. And even more wild, sometimes I'll manage to turn something that couldn't possibly be because of me or my actions and somehow make it my fault. I overthink, I break things down to minuscule things and I find a reason for all of it and somewhere in the middle I find myself to blame. This is where I need to let go. I have no ownership of the things I have no control over, and it's important that I let go of uncertainties and hand my fear over to God. It's important that I gain trust in the universe, in God.

             I hold my anxiety and depression over my head. I'm now at a point in my life where I'm no longer as effected by those two things, but it's still something I live in the past about. I worry if I let anxiety and depression hold me back. I worry if I allowed them to let me quit things or even not try in the first place. I worry about the possibility of my depression and anxiety getting bad again, I sometimes find myself even steering away from good opportunities because I fear the anxiety it could cause if it doesn't work out.

           I hold my fear of disappointing others over my head. I get sick over the idea of not living up to other's expectations of me. Even though I'm blessed to have the most supportive and hardworking family I could have ever asked for, I allow myself to think that I couldn't possibly be good enough for them.

            I hold my fear of failure over myself...and sometimes that fear is so strong that it keeps me from moving. In psychology, you'll learn about the whole fight or flight when it comes to fear. But there's a third F, one not always talked about. Your fear immobilizes you, you're frozen.

          I hold my inability to always heal everyone I meet over my head. I meet people and I want to do everything I can to replenish their energy, even if I use up mine to do so. I want to see them smile, see them believe in the magic of the universe, in themselves - I'm continuously in the pursuit of this and it's one of the bits about me I'm most proud of. But I'm also a people pleaser by nature and sometimes it's self-destructive and regardless I don't have the power to fix people. It's a hard lesson I've had to learn, but the truth is people can only change if they are willing to put forth the effort themselves. I make it my mission in any relationship to help them heal, but I have to gently remind myself that I don't have that kind of power to fix them, only God does. God created the universe and there's no reason he can't create change in our lives, too.

            I hold the loss of my strongest friendships over my head. Even though it's a part of growing up and in retrospect I've really only lost two close friends (neither of which were anyone's fault), I still hold it over my head. I wonder what I could have done differently, if they'd still be a big part of my life. I guess I should preface that I've always valued quality over quantity, I'm a huge introvert who formerly suffered from pretty bad social anxiety, and there are a very few number of people I've ever been real close to. I even hold that I'm not more outgoing and social over my head. I'm a wanderlust soul who's a homebody, I'm an empath who internalizes everything - my brain is basically a paradox and it's totally the INFJ in me...

            I hold the fact that my life isn't going according to how I'd thought or hoped it would over my head. How crazy is that? I mean, of course it's not going to go the way I planned, not when there's so much peace and joy waiting for me in God's plan for me. But I still hold it over my head, the fact that I've never been in love, the fact that I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up, the fact that my dreams seem impossibly unreachable...

          By not forgiving myself, I'm living in the past and I'm not moving forward. I'm letting fear continue to get the best of me. I'm allowing my anxiety to come creeping back in, because I'm quite sure that most of what I've talked about in this post is the root of my anxieties. How can I heal in any shape or form if I'm not willing to forgive myself and let go? How could I be living my best life, as they say, if I'm still holding on to old demons. When I started writing, I had no idea where this was going (it was all a big brain dump), but I honestly didn't realize how much I was holding onto until I started writing. I swear writing is like therapy for me. The things I wrote about are things I really can't speak outlaid about. I struggle to find the words for what I'm feeling, but writing about it comes easy. I can be vulnerable when I write and that's about it.

            If you're feeling brave, I encourage you to write down the things you need to forgive yourself for, too. I think you'll be surprised at what revelations your writing brings you. The universe was definitely prompting me towards forgiveness and I learned so much about myself in turn.

            The special thing about hammocking though (and it's not something you can quite discover until you try it yourself) is where it takes you. And not just physically, but spiritually and emotionally, too. And that is something I full-heartedly believe...

• climbing into a hammock is spending time with mother nature.
• fresh air is one of the best medicines out there. I swear it's like an entire detox for your whole body when you can get outside and away from the noise.
• it's a perfect opportunity to meet God than right in the middle of His creations, you can see all the beauty and effort He put into every single thing out there, including you.
• there's no better place to pull energy from than the eternal source that is nature. There is no finite source of good energy in nature. You can pull and pull and pull as you need and be fully rejuvenated the moment you find the way in which you need to spend time in nature. For some people it's hiking a mountain, others a walk through the park, some a coffee on their porch in the mornings, some tending to a garden, and some from their hammock with a good book. Whatever it is, it's out there among the trees and the wildflowers.

            So what takes you outdoors? For me it always involves a camera, a notebook, and a hammock, but I'd love to hear what you've found to be passionate about out in the wilderness... Let me know in the comments below!

            Don't mind me, over here jumping up and down for joy that it is finally September. I feel as if I finally find myself again when September hits and I find that spark I've been searching for all through the hot and humid summer months (I am not a summer person, if you can't tell). Anyways, today I felt really encouraged to set some intentions for the next few months, intentions that I hope will already be apart of my routine by the new year.

• read more. I don't want to put a number on it, but I really would like to make an effort to always carry a book with me and always give a part of my time each day to read some.
• write more. I also definitely want to put more time into this little blog as well as the stories that are inside my head.
• a hundred days project. If you haven't heard of the hundred days project, it's when you pick a skill you want to improve on and you work on it everyday for a hundred days. I have a few ideas, but I would really like to start on it in the next few months.
• drink more water.  I would love to get in the habit again of choosing water over other beverages, which I know if I set my mind to it for just a few short weeks I'll be back to being a full time water drinker. 
• dive more into natural, intentional living. I'm slowly but surely getting rid of all the toxic products in my home and replacing them with natural and healthier alternatives. By the new year I hope I can look at my home and truly see that I've been intentional with this goal.
• join young living. If you haven't heard of Young Living, from the sounds of it and from what I've researched it's a pretty incredible company all about essential oils and natural, non toxic products. I'm currently in the midst of saving up the extra money to invest in it.
• paint more. I actually painted and completed a painting this week for the first time in I don't know how long, and I can't put into words how filling it was. 
• practice gratitude. I want to be more mindful of the things I'm blessed to have in my life and practice gratitude as often as I can. Gratitude = Joy.
• work on my relationship with Christ. I want to be more intentional with my time with the Lord and how I let that shine out in my actions.

            I am a big time essential oil enthusiast. Not only do they smell heavenly and have so many ways to utilize them, they also have so many benefits, too. The last few weeks I've been using a new blend I decided to throw together one day, it instantly blew me away how much I loved it so I decided to do some deeper research on the blend and the oils it consisted of.

            Where do I begin with this recipe!? It's calming. Peaceful. Uplifting. Anxiety fighting. It smells good and it's only made with three essential oils.


            I typically do equal parts for each essential oil with this blend, whether I put it in my diffuser or use it with my favorite way to "wear" essential oils (my homemade necklaces made of hemp string and stones). Breaking down this oil recipe, I wanted to share with you a bit on what each oil brings to this blend...

Lavender

Sweet Orange

            - it acts as an antidepressant
            - it's uplifting

Peppermint
            - it fights anxiety
            - helps fight pain, nausea, and other forms of discomfort

            And those are just a few of the things each oil does! But I wanted to focus on the properties that make this blend so incredible so I limited it to those benefits. Let me know in the comments below if you plan on using this blend or if you've ever used any like it! And if you do try it, let me know what you think!

            If I accomplish anything in this life, it's to see all the beauty and diversity that God's created in the world. For as long as I can remember I've been struck by the travel bug. I honestly can't remember being happier than I was the first time I left everything familiar and discovered the full, undying extent of my wanderlust in Córdoba, Spain. I wrote about some of my favorite bits that have remained like snapshots in my mind, so without further ado...

I LEFT MY HEART IN SPAIN, AND WITH ME I TOOK WANDERLUST...

            I took walks through tangled, intricate gardens, designed with perfect intention. I set foot in buildings whose architecture moved my soul to emotions of gratitude so extreme I'd never quite felt before. The world fell still while I stood on top of castles and temples, watching the city and landscape dissolve into the horizon. And during this time I discovered undoubtedly, whether I was mid-exploring an old church, caught in a breathtaking view, drinking lemon Fanta at a market, dancing at my brothers wedding, or  doing something as simple as sitting on that balcony, that I would never stop dreaming of this feeling again. That wanderlust had caught me, heart and soul, and I was destined to find it again.

1. ARE MY ACTIONS GUIDED BY LOVE OR FEAR?
    
            Although I pray and pray that I'll be guided by love, I'm absolutely a slave to fear. Most of it stems from my anxiety and my overwhelming fear of failure and disappointing others. I have good days where my actions are guided by love and I'm filled with a peaceful heart over the things I'm pursuing because I'm doing it out of complete love and joy. But there are the other days that seem much more frequent when it feels like I'm mostly doing things just to keep from feeling anxious.

2. WHAT DO I THINK ABOUT WHEN I AM ALONE?

            Honestly, so many things. But I'm in this constant mindset of my potential. Of the type of person I feel I am in my soul but I don't always know how to express on the outside. My head is always stuck on the possibilities of things, the infinite directions choices can lead us. I'm also a terrible over thinker, so sometimes things get blown out of proportion. And I'm a huge daydreamer, my imagination is always going.

3. WHAT MOVIE MADE ME CRY THE MOST?

            Dude. So. Many. Movies. I am such a cry baby when it comes to movies and books and shows. I get way to invested in fictional stories and characters. My Girl. Me Before You. A Walk to Remember. 10 Things I Hate About You.

4. WHAT ARE THE BEST AND WORST PARTS OF MY PERSONALITY?

            The best thing: I always put other people's happiness and peace before me. I'm pretty empathetic about how other's are feeling and their experiences and I can't stand to be in a better state than those around me. I'll do anything to lift others up and make them feel important.

            The worst thing: Kind of goes along with the best thing, I'm really not at all a social butterfly and I'm not good at expressing myself. I tend to internalize everything and I'm really not good at conversation either. I can write about things all day long but as soon as I have to speak them my whole brain turns to mush. So as much as I do connect and empathize with others, I can't always express it and it never gets across the right way to the other person.

5. HOW WOULD MY PERFECT PARTNER TREAT ME?

            Someone who constantly guide's me towards God's grace as I will him. That's always in my mind been the one ideal I aspire to in my relationships, or rather a necessity to it. Someone who also pushes me to love myself, love others, and to work hard. And ultimately someone who is fiercely loyal and faithful.

6. WHAT TIMES AM I MOST INSPIRED?

            I'm always most inspired late, late at night, but even more so in the early morning. Weekend mornings are my absolute favorite because I can wake up with the sun, give time to my morning rituals, and in return I'm always super productive.

7. IF I DIDN'T KNOW HOW OLD I WAS WHAT WOULD I ASSUME?

            I've always been such an old soul and I'm such a homebody. So soulfully, probably a lot older. But appearance wise, I really still look like I'm a teenager.

8. WHEN DO I FEEL THE MOST LIKE MYSELF?

            Writing. Photography. Art. Traveling. I wrote about it in a lot of detail here, talking about all the things that made me feel most alive.

9. WHAT DOES LOVE FEEL LIKE?

            Everything on intensity. 

10. WHAT GOOD COMES FROM PAIN?

            I look back at the times where I was at my worst and in a lot of pain, and foremost I witness an abundance of growth. You can't grow from being comfortable and it's every bit true that you can't find beauty without knowing the ugly. 

11. WHAT IS WORST, FAILING OR NEVER TRYING?

            Hands down, never trying is so much worse. There's truly nothing more awful than wondering 'what if.' And ultimately success is impossible without failure. There's a lot of learning and growth through the failure. And that's coming from someone who is terrified of failure.

            Today I wanted to share with you something near and dear to my heart. As someone who struggles with anxiety and has definitely been through seasons where I've let it get the best of me, I've always found that God's grace was the constant to pull me out.

            Jesus led this perfect life and yet died so that we who live such imperfect lives would not be held accountable for our sins when it came to our eternity. He overcame the world so that we wouldn't have to. I often find myself in awe when I think of the kind of life Jesus led, and how much more there must be to it that we've only scratched the surface of. All the things he witnessed and all the lives he touched during his brief time on Earth and here we are and he's still completely changing our hearts, wrecking us and remolding us to this very day.

            John 16:33 says:


           I've always known John 16:33, and the message behind it has always been a big deal to me, but it wasn't until I read a book called Through the Eyes of a Lion by Levi Lusko (an incredible book, by the way) that my whole heart shifted with this scripture.

            "Jesus said that in this world we will have trouble, but he instructed us to take heart, because he has overcome the world (John 16:33). It is interesting that he said 'take heart,' because heart is also translated as courageousness, so he is saying 'take courage.' We often think of courage as an emotion or attribute that you either have or don't. Not so. Jesus' command is for you to take it from his hand - as much as you need... As we wait on the Lord, our hearts are strengthened, and we see things that are invisible and can then do things that are impossible."

            So when Jesus said heart, he was talking about:
                        courage
                        boldness
                        bravery
                        determination
                        faithfulness
                        fearlessness
                        firmness
                        fortitude

          And the beautiful thing about this is that it's not because of who we are, but it's because of who Christ is. Christ, his grace and his love, is an endless source of courage to take on the world with. And it doesn't matter how anxious, scared, weak, fearful, sinful, undeserving, or broken you feel. We are instructed to take from God's hand, and as much as we need. How pure and whole is that kind of love? It kind of leaves me speechless.

            To this day I've never looked at those words the same way. Sometimes even the word heart in a completely different context will call out to me. It's often too easy to let our anxieties get the best of us, we let fear control us and dictate are actions. Knowing that God has all the courage we need and we have access to it, lifts all that weight off our shoulders. There's something totally infinite and unconquerable about it, and that's all because of who Christ is. 

Listening: to this playlist full of worship songs
Making: stone wrapped hemp pendants
Welcoming: the last weeks of summer, happily
Eating: garlic hummus and pita crackers
Drinking: lots and lots of La Croix
Watching: Criminal Minds
Reading: Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist 
Wishing: desperately for a good thunderstorm
Smelling: lavender essential oil
Praying: that I may find my own place in the next few months
Loving: how connected I feel to this blog I'm creating
Playing: my guitar, when I'm feeling inspired to
Thanking: God every day for his love 
Missing: a lot of my good friends and family that don't live so close to me
Writing: almost everyday, which I'm loving, and I really have this blog to thank for constantly inspiring me to pursue my writing
Discovering: how incredible natural products are working in my skincare routine
Thinking: a lot about traveling
Feeling: faithful that God will provide in this next chapter of my life

             Last week I went to the Tennessee Aquarium, and looking into the salt water tanks and watching the schools of fish, the sharks sea turtles, and stingrays swim by, I overheard a conversation between a father and his son. The father was describing how (certain types of) sharks had to keep swimming in order to live. Their whole lives and they never still... How wild is that? Sharks physically have to keep moving in order to live. If they're not moving, they can't produce oxygen.

            I kept going back to that idea, and I very quickly began to find a lot of symbolism in it. And I fully believe that if you look hard enough, God leaves us knowledge and advice to equip us, and not only in prayer and the bible, but guidance that can be found within his creations. It reminds us that if we're not moving: growing, changing, or evolving, then how could we possibly be living out our lives to the fullest?

            Keep going, keep moving forward. Even if you're scared. There's always room to grow and there's always new and exciting places around the corner. We weren't made to stand still. God created a far better legacy for us.

             Sometimes I let fear immobilize me, but real talk: you're never gonna grow inside your comfort zone. I think we sometimes have this fear of being defined by our failures. But in all honesty, I've discovered that we're defined by our actions, by our character, by our story, and failure is a part of that journey. And then sometimes it's not even about fear, it's about settling. Sometimes I just get used to things and before I know it, time is passing and I really didn't grow during that time. Carry that reminder, to always seek opportunities for growth. Don't let your goals and passions become a concept for the someday. Do something today, move today.

            Hello friends! Today I wanted to talk about morning rituals. I'm a total morning person, but I only truly love mornings when I feel energized and I have the opportunity to be productive. Morning rituals for me are all about finding positive energy to ignite the day, setting intentions so I can better seek out my goals, as well as engaging with my mind and body.

            There is nothing I dislike more than a rushed morning, I always find that it tends to leave me feel anxious the rest of the day. I feel like all the speed bumps and stumbling blocks of being an introvert are brought out, too. I'm kind of left with a pit in my stomach the rest of the day, kind of like how you feel when you're late for a deadline.

            Ultimately when I engage in this morning ritual, I also find that I am so much more motivated to actually seek out opportunities to accomplish my goals and I just have a better day in general. I'm more carefree with the daily stressors that life brings me, I'm more optimistic and inspired.

MY MORNING RITUAL

            I will say that most mornings, I don't accomplish every task on this list. And sometimes not even half on my work days. However, everyday I do make an effort to do as many of these as  I can. I find that the more that I do, the better day I have, and that makes me all the more motivated to do it again tomorrow.

            What are some things you like to include in your morning routine? I'd love to hear your answers in the comments below!

MEET MY NEW PLANTS

Camille

Maiden Hair Fern

Adiantum pubescens 
I call her: Lorelei

            Something I have been really trying to do lately is to be more conscientious of how I spend my time. I only really got thinking about it when I was prompted to change my way of thinking. Instead of using the excuse that I simply did not have time to do something, I needed to be honest with myself: I simply was not making that thing a priority. And that was a real eye opener. It really causes you to sit and reevaluate your self and how you choose to spend your time.

            Following that, I stumbled upon this exercise, writing a list of things I would rather hold in my hands than my phone. Of course, what is more important than this list, is being intentional in putting my phone away and choosing to live in the moment, or if I have to, bring meaning to that moment by finding something else to occupy my mind and hands. And with that being said, here are a hundred things I'd rather hold than my phone, and as I hope a hundred possibilities I can choose from the next time I reach for my phone out of boredom...

ONE HUNDRED THINGS I'D RATHER HOLD THAN MY PHONE

1. the bible
2. a hand written letter
3. my camera
4. a hand of someone I care about
5. a kitten
6. a stack of old family photos
7. my favorite book
8. someone's hair as I braid it
9. a mug filled with coffee
10. a plane ticket
11. the steering wheel of my car
12. a glass of ice water
13. my guitar
14. black nail polish
15. a bouquet of flowers
16. the comforter on my bed
17. a devotional
18. a new pack of sharpies
19. the keys of a type writer
20. a deck of cards
21. concert tickets
22. puzzle pieces
23. weights to make my arms strong
24. produce at a farmer's market
25. a slice of pizza
26. a psychology textbook
27. a paint brush
28. aquarium tickets
29. my passport
30. a coloring book
31. a Harry Potter book
32. the keys of a piano
33. stones on the beaches of Lake Superior
34. the handle bars of my bike
35. a honeysuckle flower
36. a journal and pen
37. a polaroid camera
38. my yoga mat
39. a postcard
40. someone close while we talk for hours
41. an iced coffee
42. hands in prayer
43. handwritten notes
44. movie popcorn
45. a list written on paper of adventures to go on
46. a national geographic magazine
47. embroidery thread
48. my laptop as I settle down to write
49. ballet slippers
50. a planner
51. a mug of hot chocolate
52. my cross necklace
53. a fortune cookie
54. a potted plant
55. a newborn baby
56. a photograph I developed in a darkroom from film
57. the reins of a horse's bridle
58. a collection of photos from my trip to Spain
59. a handmade gift
60. a sushi menu
61. a photo album
62. a to do list
63. my hands up in worship
64. movie tickets
65. a grocery list
66. a film canister
67. smores at a bonfire
68. my favorite ring
69. a venti sweetened passion tango iced tea from Starbucks
70. my Friends DVDs
71. tortilla chips and a bowl of queso
72. a list of positive affirmations
73. raindrops in the palm of my hand
74. my wood burning tool
75. a sunflower
76. a library card
77. a stack of my grandmother's recipes handwritten on scrap paper and index cards
78. a candle and a match
79. frosted animal crackers
80. a sparkler
81. a family scrapbook
82. a glass of sweet tea
83. a notebook full of outlines for a book I'm writing
84. a pottery piece handmade by my grandmother
85. the tiny hands of the kiddos I teach
86. tacos
87. clay I'm molding into something
88. my essential oil bottles
89. my suitcase
90. my hammock, while I hunt for a place to hang it up
91. the cross hanging in my rearview mirror
92. hemp string as I make it into a bracelet
93. a stack of books I'm buying from a local bookstore
94. a peach
95. a cookbook
96. a plate of baked pita bread and hummus
97. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
98. my water bottle
99. my gym membership card
100. a sharpie while I doodle a tattoo on skin